Sophie Bitchslapped Me Into an Existential Crisis

SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T READ SOPHIE'S WORLD YET.

Wrapping myself up in bubble wrap to ward off existential depression.

I am currently enrolled in a subject called Philosophy of Man and we were required to write a min. 3 page reflection paper on Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. At first, it seemed like a boring novel telling us about the philosophers but it is not. IT IS NOT. If you haven't read it yet, read it. Or not. I seriously don't know if I should recommend it or not. If you do decide to read it, make sure you have adult supervision. It is educational, fun, and enlightening at times. However, there are times that are unnerving and unsettling not unlike the queasiness one feels while watching a gory movie because it leads you on to think and question some things you consider to be truth. One of these moments was the revelation that Sophie is only a creation of Albert Knag's imagination. She was a character of a book in the book! Bookception! After I read this scene, I instantly felt panic. The book was written so well that the philosophy lessons woven into the plot led up to the intense panic one should feel. Before the reveal, I was introduced to Hume who questioned the unbreakability of our natural laws. He said that maybe things fall to the ground not because of the natural law but because we expect it to. Since we always see things fall to the ground, we believe it to be always the case. The things we hold to be true might be true because of us imposing our minds on it. With this knowledge followed by the reveal, made me feel bad for Sophie for a split second until I started thinking about my own existence. What if like Sophie, I am just a creation of someone's imagination? What if I'm still in the matrix? It might seem like an absurd premise but there's no way to prove otherwise. I desperately racked my brains for some philosophical assertion to affirm my existence and I remembered Descartes. He proved he exists by the mere fact that he doubted and it calmed me down a bit. Then I remembered that Sophie was thinking too, she was doubting too. What if I am only thinking and doubting because my creator wanted me to? And then at this point I started to cry. I know, I'm that weird girl (well, technically more drunk as I had 2 1/2 bottles of beer at this point already). I calmed down when my mom threatened to take my alcohol away and when I realized that it doesn't matter. I'm better off not knowing anyway because what if what I fear was true, what now? I do not want to take that gamble. It will be like one of those presents you see early during the year with the label "Do no open until Christmas". Whatever is the truth, I can not know for sure but the fact remains that I can think, I can feel, and I can experience things. Because I can do those things, I see no reason for me not to continue the way I live regardless on whether I truly exist or not.

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." - Steve Jobs